Back to work

Well, this week I started back to work from maternity leave. It really wasn't that hard to leave Monday morning. Olivia was sound asleep in her crib, so I leaned over and gave her a kiss. Brad and I are so blessed to have his mom come to our house and keep her most of the week, and then my mom will be watching her some also. Knowing that family was going to be here made it easier to leave. I was so busy during the day trying to get back into the groove of work, and getting to know my students, the day flew by.

However, each day has surprisingly gotten harder. It is harder to hear her cry at night since I am not there during the day to soothe her. I feel like I don't hold her as much as I should. I feel like I have been more emotional this week than I was for the couple of weeks after giving birth. All of those who know me know that I tried everything I could think of to not have to go back to work. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do.

Today was exceptionally hard for me for some reason. I think God was trying to speak to me, and I found a prayer book for mothers and found one that fit perfectly with how I was feeling.

Jesus, it was not my plan to work when my baby was so small. Yet, when I prayed for a way to stay home no way was possible. So, as I reluctantly leave my darling with a child minder...may (my) baby not feel abandoned. Let me be thankful to you, God, for providing another woman with a desire to nurture little babies. May the guardian angels of the babies in her home surround and protect them. Amen.

-Anonymous